Being Informed vs. Being at Peace — Can We Have it Both Ways?
From Mudpuppy SMR:
I’ve been AWOL from the Mudflats as a commenter for some time now. Never fear, though – I remain a dedicated Mudflats.net and I Heart Mudflats reader & lurker. Our move from Alaska to Calgary feels, in some ways, as though it is still a work in progress. The unfinished basement of our Kensington home (a sweet little neighborhood near the river & downtown) is filled with unpacked boxes as we try to shoehorn our family into a home less than half the size of the one that we left. Calgary is a beautiful, exciting city, there is much to do and I am enjoying & embracing our new life.
I drive once a week, for the long trek to the southwest corner of Calgary for riding lessons for my daughter & myself. Groceries, the dry-cleaners, Starbucks, drugstore – all of those errands are accomplished, rain or shine, walking with a 4-yr-old and a chariot jogger-cum-shopping-cart. Some days we walk 5 or 6 miles to get all of our errands done, leaving the house at 9 a.m. (say for an appointment downtown), meeting up with my husband at his downtown office to have a leisurely lunch, wandering around the shops, back up the bike trail and home, arriving back at the house around 3 or 4 p.m. In many ways it feels idyllic, and yet I remain drawn to the chaos of the political sites, addicted to reading about the drama of the Palin resignation, the health-care debate, the continued marginalization of the GOP as it descends into the insanity of Kristol, Limbaugh, DeMint, Gingrich, Bachmann, Coulter, Cheney (father and daughter), and of course the divisive Former-Governor Grifter.
Which brings me to the point of this post, why I’m breaking my silence and submitting a piece for this lovely site… A couple of weeks ago I found a new magazine, Body + Soul, a magazine impulse buy. It has a great piece titled “Feel Your Best! The 17 Most Trusted Names In Integrative Health Give Their Top Advice For Preventing Illness, Revving Up Energy, Easing Stress – and More.” The 14th piece of advice in the article really resonated with me. It is entitled “Change the Channel.” I am linking the piece here, so won’t go into the whole thing (I hope that you will be drawn to it on your own), but here’s the money quote for me: The networks cycle through the same bad news over and over again, they hook you in by turning everything into a crisis… The problem is that the body doesn’t differentiate between real problems and sensationalized ones. The stress response is exactly the same – as are the potential health consequences. Pay close attention to how you’re feeling while watching the news, it might feel good for a while, but when it starts to feel bad, change the channel or shut off the TV.
I know that I am not the only Mudflats reader who is infuriated by Palin’s continued victim-behavior, her hiding behind the Troops, God & her Bible (which seems to advocate some strange behavior, if you ask me – is she reading a different one?). I know that I am not the only one frustrated by the hate-mongering of the GOP, the demonizing of public health plans, Obama, and any other perceived “liberal” cause or politician. However, I have made a concerted effort to engage in (read: comment) issues that are personal to me, those that I feel strongly about minus the knee-jerk-emotional-component. As an example, in the days leading up to Palin’s July 3rd resignation speech, I emailed Andrew Sullivan (The Daily Dish) several times with links that I’d stumbled across (thanks, Mom, for bringing one to my attention), along with a little message about its importance (in my mind, anyway). I was quite proud to have been in his blog twice in one week! I feel comfortable talking about most things energy/oil/gas, and as a born & raised Alaskan, I think that I am in a fairly good position to offer some perspective and rational discussion about the adverse effect of the Palin administration’s policies. But I will not, and do not, get drawn into the highly emotional discussions; it’s not conducive to my peace of mind or a peaceful life. As my wonderful husband says, it harshes my mellow. Can I feel my blood pressure going up? Yes. Do I feel rage? Yes. As the piece says, your body does not differentiate between real and perceived stress – so why allow myself to feel anger over the drivel spouted by idiots? Long ago, during a very difficult time in my life, a friend asked how I could stay sane through the challenges. I told them that I did not get angry about anything that I could not do anything about, or was not willing to do something about. I forget that sometimes during these difficult political days, and #14 reminded me to get back to that place.
Case in point: the disastrous, hypocritical & uninformed Palin op-ed piece on Cap & Trade. There was much tearing of hair and gnashing of teeth on the Mudflats comment thread. My contribution was, more or less verbatim, that any statement by Palin regarding any issue is sure to be so fact-challenged & inflammatory that it could only be a positive for those on the other side of the issue; her piece was sure to be challenged by those interested in intelligent & informed debate of the issue, would encourage further debate and dissemination of facts & ideas. Sure enough, several intelligent people wrote pieces pointing out that she was for it before she was against it, that it was completely erroneous, likely written by someone with a better grasp of the English language than Palin herself, and of course the main purpose of Palin’s piece seemed to be to align herself with the anti-Obama far-right-wingnuttery-bunch. As a bonus, she is now the star or MoveOn.org’s latest cap & trade commercial. Score!
Alaska will have a lot of cleaning up to do. I challenge you all to continue to meet, on-line & in person if you are fortunate enough to do so, our fellow Mudflats friends, but also to find positive ways to challenge the status quo, direct ways to effect positive change. Now that the Iquitarod is over let’s take our yellow wellies to the street, agitate and work for those causes that we feel strongly about. Healthcare reform could use some support. Cap and trade could use some support. Local elections, the closest homeless shelter, clean-up opportunities – they all stand in dire need of volunteers. Do it for others, yes, but also do it for yourself.
And now, after you read the piece that I linked to, so long ago, at the beginning of this, turn off the computer and give yourself a few mud-free hours.
August 3rd, 2009 at 2:08 pm
Thank you for the reminder that detox can be very good for a person and the soul!
August 3rd, 2009 at 9:03 pm
I was lying in Yoga today struggling w/ the very same thoughts. It can actually be kind of scary, all that goes on in the world. Sometimes I ask myself: If I do nothing, say nothing, respond to nothing, will someone else take my place & does it even matter? Big question.
August 4th, 2009 at 2:16 am
I hear you.
I stopped subscribing to our local paper two decades ago. I also stopped watching the nightly news. It was the same thing. Auto accidents. Winning sports teams. Drought. Flood. The names and places change but it was all the same.
Now I did start becoming much more involved in politics right after Bush II was elected. And I started reading more news online. My stress level went up. I could not believe he was re-elected. I went to bed that night having the first sound sleep in years sure that he’d lost. The next morning I couldn’t believe I had to live through another four years of him. And Rove. And Cheney. That is why I became so obsessed with McCain/Palin. I wasn’t sure I could live through another term of idiocy. And quite frankly, Palin in a position of power frightens me.
Well, Obama is president. The Democrats control Congress. I don’t read Yahoo or HuffPo that often anymore. I don’t watch the nightly news unless I’m interested in the weather forecast for the week. And I’ve removed some of my political bookmarks and just don’t go there anymore. I won’t stick my head in the sand, I will still maintain some vigilance. But I feel much safer now.
But I won’t give up Mudflats. Because it is much more than a political blog or an Alaskan blog.
And I’ll still watch The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. Because that’s entertainment, not news. All the other news shows say so.
August 4th, 2009 at 1:59 pm
Wow, comments! Can I ask (really nicely) that you guys check out the blog that I linked to a bit ago, nieniediaglogues? There are no comments there, and I know that Mudflatters are some wonderful people so would appreciate that blog. It’s a heartbreaker in many ways, but also uplifting in others.
As was said there, you have to go to the blog and start at the beginning (go back to the archived posts and work your way forward). It’s all about the journey, folks!
Anyway, about this piece I wrote… Mudflats is different from most blogs/political sites in that it engages readers on many different levels, and also does not descend into rhetoric or stories that are deliberately designed to incite/exacerbate partisan feelings. That being the case, I still check in on Mudflats a few times a day! I also still check in on the Daily Dish, Washington Monthly, Immoral Minority, Progressive Alaska, HuffPo.
However, the sites that I felt were getting sensationalist (hello CNN!) without substance are no longer on my must-read list.
And I guess that some days I am overwhelmed by the number of comments (of which I read few) at Mudflats re: issues that don’t really deserve much thought (hello SP divorce), let along energy that could be more positively directed elsewhere. I see all of these wonderful commenters at the ‘Flats, superfantatstic people, and wonder would could be if they were to direct their energy outward, outside the comments on a blog, that is.
I guess my goal, for myself anyway, is a balance between being informed, being at peace, and being active politically in ways that can most effect positive change. It’s more of a challenge for me being here in Canada.
You all are wonderful! Maybe we can check in with each other, here or on the forum or something, keep each other updated as to how we are doing with this challenge.
August 4th, 2009 at 4:28 pm
SMR, I’ve always appreciated your thoughtful comments on Mudflats and have missed your regular input. But I very much hear what you are saying. Many of us don’t realize we are getting toxic stress overload, like that old saying about put a frog in water and warm up gradually vs drop a frog in boiling water. I had begun to notice that my water was getting a bit warm even before last year’s election craziness. But I still didn’t walk away from some of it. It wasn’t until my son was murdered less than 3 months ago that I blew a complete stress overload gasket. While people grieving are commonly advised to stay away from stress, depressing subjects, sadness, etc., I have taken the opportunity to incorporate that advice into the broader perspective of my life as a whole, not just as a grief survival tactic. I have put my filters on maximum as a life tool, to improve the quality of the rest of my precious and limited lifespan, to make the best of what I have, to water the seeds of joy instead of anger. I can be an informed, engaged person in this world without subjecting myself to hours of negative comments, angry people etc. I can continue to grow without letting hate into my life. The seeds of anger die if they are not watered, and my blood pressure thanks me. My family thanks me. Sure, I still have some trainwreck addiction to the Palin Chronicles and such, but I try to keep it in perspective, laugh instead of yell, and walk away when I see that I am gratuitously gawking without humor and a shrug of the shoulders.
As a former stress junkie, your post resonated with me, and I thank you for expressing what has been on my mind a lot lately.
August 4th, 2009 at 4:36 pm
Well, last things first: I did go to NieNie’s site and started in the beginning, but just had to move on…to try to keep prioritizing time online.
Plus, I do not deliberately go to ‘heartbreak’. That is another
grounding principle for me. Plenty arrives without my seeking it.
My computer was ill for a few weeks and as it slowly ground to a halt, I had no choice but to limit the one or two items that would be displayed. Mudflats and
I Heart..were in the top priority.
I know I am addicted to Mudflats, am a Scarahphobe [for good reason] and am only on the fringes of the Mud community but
appreciated it very much.
Re the stressful input, one aspect to consider is WHEN you are on line. The early hours after waking and just before bedtime is often when one is on line, and those are the most
impressionable to electronic stimuli, anxiety, etc. I think for most people those would be hard times to stay off line, but
could be of benefit to cut the stress…and allow for staying on
line during the more balanced, less impressionable mid-day hours. This is from several theoretical points of view…Traditional Oriental Medicine, Ayurveda, neuroscience
[as remembered by me...]
Third, also, too, besides, I am in awe of the articulate, broad
ranged information of the comments on Mudflats and Heart.
I do have the sense that these arise from action and research, that they are primarily the result of activity in the real world.
For the most part.. like fashion and style stuff, people’s
toenail polish …it is fluff or fun or easy enough to skip.
SMR, you can see that I agree this is a good area for exploration.
August 4th, 2009 at 5:46 pm
IP, funny you should mention the morning and pre-bedtime hours online. I have a new online addiction that is silly but SO stress-free. It is Farm Town on Facebook. I mostly do it when I first get up and before I go to bed. It involves a fantasy farm with crops and cows and flowers and trees. I create my perfect little farm with tidy rows of crops with no bugs. It is pretty, tidy, joyful, and rather mindless. Very soothing for me. Much better than cruising the news or reading vicious comments online. Silly? Sure. Soothing? Definitely. I’m all about the soothe these days.
August 4th, 2009 at 7:23 pm
@womanwithsardinecan –
I am glad to hear that you are finding positive ways to channel your grief and letting the experience guide you towards more positive experiences, open-mindedness & an overall appreciation of the the frailty & tenuousness of life. I was pondering that issue last night — a horrible tragedy occurred here in Calgary a few days ago, and I was thinking “what if it were me…” — made a note to self that today I would A) play more with Charlotte, and B) express more love toward my family. My teenager really challenged me on B, let me tell ya! I am sending you warm wishes & peaceful thoughts — you should touch base w/your sisters to get my perspective on this, as we’ve emailed a bit about it…
@InterestedPerson –
As I commented above, I find Mudflats to be entertaining & informative without pushing my blood pressure up. Sometimes the issues do it, though, no matter the skill of the writer, and it’s 50/50 whether I can be talked up or down via the comment thread… Mudflats was a real life-saver for me during the election days, though, words cannot express that strongly enough. Re: the time of day thing, I read something a short time ago that being online engages certain parts of the brain that make it difficult to get to sleep w/in an hour or two of being online. Top secret info here: our internet connection has “mysteriously” gone down when my husband & I go to bed for the last week… Our teen would be up 24/7 on Facebook if she could get away with it. We are hoping that the internet continues to have these little issues until she goes off to college on the 15th, without her getting suspicious.
Which brings me to the Facebook issue — I just wrote about that on my blog today (no, I’ve not linked it here, not ready for that exposure of my soul quite yet), the title is Facebook Sucks. I’m glad to hear that you are making it work for you womanwithasardinecan, the farm thing sounds soothing for someone into the facebook thing. Facebook is like politics — hard to find a middle ground &/or balance.
One of the things that struck me in the piece that I linked to was the fact that the body does not differentiate in responding to stress. I.e., same response to a real train wreck as to the train wreck that is Palin. I don’t go out of my way to seek out train wrecks, so do not go out of my way to read stuff about Palin/Limbaugh/Haters-in-general train wrecks either…
Re: the nieniedialogues. It’s not that I seek out heartbreak, definately not. I actually did not know what was going on with that site when I started reading it. I’m pretty methodical so I started at the archives and worked my way forward. There is much in that blog that is magnificently inspiring, and it certainly gives you a keen appreciation for the value of each & every day, as well as the love of family. I have almost nothing in common with that person, and religiously & politically we could not be further apart, but the big things trump those issues. I think we can all agree about that.
Finally — I love you all!!!!!!!1 Thanks for the great comments about this issue!
August 4th, 2009 at 10:47 pm
wwsc said: “It involves a fantasy farm with crops and cows and flowers and trees. I create my perfect little farm with tidy rows of crops with no bugs.”
Funny, I do that for real. The best therapy ever. Had bugs, but found that sprinkling wild bird seed in the garden (after crops were a decent size) does the trick just fine
I didn’t read the recommended blog, I used to publish a magazine that sat right next to Body, Mind and Soul (except they had more money, so they’re still there, I am not). From my experience, I think it’s all a matter of being able to back away, remove yourself from the stress. Go to yoga, meditate, do a kind deed, write something wonderful, garden, whatever floats you away. Sometimes I just avoid all people for a while -even a few months. Just get stuck in my own head & my own little world.
It’s those who get trapped in all this going on who feel the stress.
Plus, I have found this topic is one I can share w/ my son, a common bond, so it has been good for us. Gives us a laugh.
I hate stress. Laughter is better.
August 4th, 2009 at 11:08 pm
SMR,
I don’t understand peoples’ addiction to Facebook any more than I understand their addiction to texting. Social interaction on steroids. I see people with 2000 “friends” posting every little detail of their lives, joining every group, posting every “favorite” they have ever had. I see people arguing and commenting on every little detail of every other person’s life, as if the hours they already spent posting belligerent comments on every online newspaper and blog are not enough. I think it is creepy and dysfunctional. It makes me twitch, which is why I spend very little time on the “main” part of Facebook except to quickly check on a handful of Internet friends I don’t regularly email, and then I retreat to play my silly game on my peaceful farm. I did find myself laughing this morning when my best friend (who lives in another state) popped over to my farm for a chat (we usually email or talk on the phone but we are also farm neighbors with a chat function). There we were standing in my fantasy field, cows mooing in the background, while we discussed the water supplies in our respective communities. I found it surreal in a giggly sort of way.
Anyway, it seems to me that many people have replaced normal interaction with frantic addictive texting, tweeting, and posting. I get the feeling they are afraid to be alone in their own heads or to have a simple one-on-one conversation over coffee without other input. That’s really sad and not very healthy in my opinion. And I think it adds to their stress load. I think there was some study recently about teenagers and texting and how it was raising their stress levels way up. Like teenagers don’t have enough stress in their lives.
Since my son’s death, I have found that my ability to interact is greatly reduced, and I have to keep my interactions in the realm of real friends and calm people. I still spend time at Mudflats and some of the other Alaskan sites, because they tend to be calm and civil, but I am mostly reduced to reading, and sometimes I can’t even handle that if people get too excited.
August 5th, 2009 at 12:40 pm
@womanwithasardinecan –
You are spot on re: the Facebook thing. My main complaint about the Facebook thing, in regard to my teenager, is that it more or less replaces real-life, face-to-face, interaction for her, and it allows her to presume that she “knows” people. There are all sorts of groups that people can join (and the teens are huge on that) that become some rabid partisan sh$t that frankly teens have no business engaging in. When I was her age I was living life for real and no judging people based on whether or not they were Repub or Dem (which at that age is really a function of your parents more than any firmly held set of beliefs of your own). The anti/pro groups are nuts. If you ask your sisters for my email address I will send you a link to my blog and you can read my write-up about Facebook (if you’re interested!).
I hope that you will continue your journey toward peace & coming to terms with your son’s death by fostering relationships with loving, supportive people. And I hope that some day when I visit our eldest at school in Juneau that we will be able to meet face to face!
August 5th, 2009 at 1:15 pm
I appreciate you taking the time to write on this very important topic. As a frequent community activist in the past, I found that lots of us had all kinds of great ideas about how to improve the world, but if our lives had been a rainforest, they would have been a clearcut. Most of us have a long way to go in knowing how to take care of ourselves and that constructive work in the world begins with a healthy self.
August 6th, 2009 at 7:17 pm
Thank you for a lovely, contemplative and very timely contribution. I am happy you are enjoying Calgary and I am enjoying the idea of Calgary though you.
What you have to say exemplifies the words of someone whose wisdom I find sustaining, Jiddu Krishnamurti:
You must understand the whole of life, not just one little part of it. That is why you must read, that is why you must look at the skies, that is why you must sing and dance, and write poems and suffer and understand, for all that is life.
August 9th, 2009 at 7:27 pm
I think you’re onto something–or the doctors are, anyhow. I’ve made a similar decision–I watch the news once or twice a week, and that’s it. I can keep up, and I was finding the continual drama exhausting. I finally decided that I had quite enough drama in my own life to be getting on with. I’m happier, more creative, and more productive now–the worst of it was the sheer futility of it all. There was all this negative energy, and nothing I could do to put the situation right. I am learning to choose my battles more carefully. I write to my congressman (or President Obama) when I have something I need to get off my chest, and then I get back to my life.